Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
funny witty humorous
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
birthday self years
Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.
witty time cutting
I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
love funny marriage
Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.
coffee culture genius
You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
funny hilarious witty
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
jewish-tradition laughing survival
The greatest Jewish tradition is to laugh. The cornerstone of Jewish survival has always been to find humor in life and in ourselves.
book reading learning
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
funny christmas people
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
good-night sleep kids
I am a very organized person. I get up at 6:15 a.m., the kids get up at 6:45 a.m., and so I get up and get it in. I’m addicted to the high function. To me it’s a work thing -- if you meditate, you can get so much work done. I always say to people you know how about three nights a year you get a good night sleep? You can have it every day with meditation.
funny makeup color
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
funny thinking comedy
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
funny dog humorous
If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?
dog money pockets
Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.