Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
baby funny-life mistake
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
funny dog crazy
You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. "There's a quarter...."
coffee done
I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
winning games dating
What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?
book people house
What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
funny family children
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
moving life-is-good movement
To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
dad love-is being-a-dad
I love being a dad. I just love it.
beer games fans
The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
love relationship moving
Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
phones mind body
You know how your charger for your phone? It's like if you had a charger for your whole body and mind
mean average funeral
Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
skills two people
There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don't have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.
jobs funny-work beats
After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.