Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
life sarcastic travel
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
suicide suicidal waiting
I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.
heads-up
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
running thinking suffering
Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
funny motivational death
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
people feelings unfortunate
I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
funny witty humorous
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
men games decision
Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
lying advertising
I love advertising because I love lying.
witty want responsible
Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
good-night coffee sleep
I think the answer is we all need a little help, and the coffee's a little help with everything — social, energy, don't know what to do next, don't know how to start my day, don't know how to get through this afternoon, don't know how to stay alert. We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
men doctors want
Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
years lunch meditation
Every day when everybody would have lunch I would do TM [Transcendental Meditation] and then I would eat while I was working because I had missed lunch but that is how I survived the 9 years [of Seinfeld], it was that 20 minutes in the middle of the day would save me.
funny witty laughter
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.