Jeff Foxworthy
Jeff Foxworthy
Jeffrey Marshall "Jeff" Foxworthyis an American stand-up comedian, actor, television and radio personality, author, and voice artist. He is a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, a comedy troupe which also comprises Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, and Ron White. Known for his "You might be a redneck" one-liners, Foxworthy has released six major-label comedy albums. His first two albums were each certified 3× Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America. Foxworthy has written several books based...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 September 1958
CityAtlanta, GA
CountryUnited States of America
I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.
Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
I'm having my house repainted and we have a piano in the corner and the painter says, Is that y'all's piano? I said, No, that's our coffee table; it just has buck teeth. Here's Your Sign.
I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.