Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
thinking bears worms
I think bears and worms aren't very similar... until you think of gummy.
grateful lucky appreciative
I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones who is so grateful and appreciative to know such great synonyms for thankful.
sweet jobs guy
Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.
would-be ridiculous just-kids
I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
baby men dust
I am a man. And I am former baby and a future skeleton, and I am a distant future pile of dust.
airplane thank-god forgotten
As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
checkers heard train
I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.
boss want colleagues
I don't want to be my own boss. I want to be my own colleague.
grandchildren eras someday
Someday I will tell my grandchildren that I lived in the era when OK was abbreviated to K.
trying impress equations
If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.
talking trying about-yourself
To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.
sharks water situation
I'm afraid of sharks - but only in a water situation.
struggle panic bed
Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
hate interesting stranger
To get strangers to hate you even faster, crank up the volume on that very interesting ringtone of yours.