Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
work-out thursday sometimes
It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
society able wonder
I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
names guy would-be
A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.
america allies found
I just found out that I have more allies than America!
important tiny small-business
Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
trying sunglasses credibility
To remove all credibility from what you're saying try wearing sunglasses on your forehead.
impossible cyclops
It is impossible for a cyclops to wink.
beer mind body
My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
insult-to-injury add casts
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
meaningful real done
It's very easy to go through your whole life and never really get anything done or have any real meaningful interactions or relationships. All of a sudden you're dead, and I'm going to say that's got to be a letdown.
phones band my-favorite
I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
home machines speed
I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed
practice house wish
I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'
writing night thinking
I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.