Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
stupid certain i-can
I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.
blow wind way
Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.
blessing count-your-blessings loud
Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.
thinking smoking looks
A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.
queens cubes drag
A Rubik's cube is equal to a drag queen. It's really colorful, but I don't wanna do it.
garden rocks stones
Leave no stone unturned in your quest to disrupt a rock garden.
beautiful fall motorcycle
A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
moving culture shapes
I've learned something on the road, traveling around: state shapes. The easier it is to draw the shape of the state, the harder it is to live in that state. So, if you live in a regular polygon, get the hell outta there. You gotta move to a squiggly area. Culture's attracted to squiggles.
gun men hands
A squirrel is the same as a can, when there's a bb gun in my hand. Can't you see that I am just a man? With distinctions... and comparisons.
powerful mean men
Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.
children men clothes
The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.
party thinking people
The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.
home next seats
I love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.
creative sketchbooks looks
How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.