Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitzis an American writer, comedian, satirist, and actor. Borowitz is a New York Times-bestselling author who won the first National Press Club award for humor. He is known for creating The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and the satirical column The Borowitz Report, which has an audience in the millions and was acquired by The New Yorker. In a profile on CBS News Sunday Morning, he was called "one of the funniest people in America"...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth4 January 1958
CityShaker Heights, OH
gun dreamer wish
Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.
believe cutting gun
The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps; and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.
gun thinking dreamer
Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
crazy thinking gun
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
decision defense donald pay secretary
At the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that the decision to pay recruits in gasoline, while unorthodox, was a 'slam-dunk solution' to the Army's nagging shortfalls in enlistment.
britney great
Britney is one of our great comedians. She has been hilarious,
cancel continue couple days gauge major number obvious people piece reader response
After Sept. 11, I didn't write a piece for a couple of days because I thought people wouldn't want me to be funny. This time, it was so obvious what could be written, and I'll continue to write it. I can usually gauge reader response from the number of people who cancel on my e-mail list, and there's been no major withdrawal.
discovered expensive moved network stuff wrote york
I wanted to get away from big, expensive network projects, ... so I moved to New York and I did nothing. And then I discovered the Internet. I didn't think of it as a moneymaker -- I wrote stuff I thought my friends would find funny.
effective resigning vice
I am resigning effective immediately. Bo Derek will become the new vice president.
funny-christmas littles celebrate
Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
song funny-life chicago
Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
funny travel thinking
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
race tests christie
A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
funny-friend people google
If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them