Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
divine marked respect treat
Treat things divine with marked respect - don't have anything to do with them
fear inward outward sign visible
GHOST, n. The outward and visible sign of an inward fear.
adam among centuries ceremonies chaos charles chinese dead drumming egyptian embraces fantastic founded great grotesque joined julius man order paris past pyramids reign secret side stones symbols temples until
FREEMASONS, n. An order with secret rites, grotesque ceremonies and fantastic costumes, which, originating in the reign of Charles II, among working artisans of London, has been joined successively by the dead of past centuries in unbroken retrogression until now it embraces all the generations of man on the hither side of Adam and is drumming up distinguished recruits among the pre-Creational inhabitants of Chaos and Formless Void. The order was founded at different times by Charlemagne, Julius Caesar, Cyrus, Solomon, Zoroaster, Confucious, Thothmes, and Buddha. Its emblems and symbols have been found in the Catacombs of Paris and Rome, on the stones of the Parthenon and the Chinese Great Wall, among the temples of Karnak and Palmyra and in the Egyptian Pyramids --always by a Freemason.
addicted common common-sense favors truth utterance
FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
barometer calm carry descended dreadful fair fell maketh nasty sailed sea ship sky tempest walking
FRIENDSHIP, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.The sea was calm and the sky was blue; Merrily, merrily sailed we two.(High barometer maketh glad.) On the tipsy ship, with a dreadful shout, The tempest descended and we fell out.(O the walking is nasty bad!) --Armit Huff Bettle
carry fair friendship
Friendship is a ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
attest bear chase dead dies doubles enriching fly grief happy hope horse money pageant respect sacrifice savage souls strengthen
FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.The savage dies --they sacrifice a horse To bear to happy hunting-grounds the corse. Our friends expire --we make the money fly In hope their souls will chase it to the sky. --Jex Wopley
assassins capital entertain expediency grave including justice misgivings penalty persons regarding worthy
Capital Punishment, a penalty regarding the justice and expediency of which many worthy persons - including all the assassins - entertain grave misgivings
absurd chinese commonly custom cut hair justly shaving
BEARD, n. The hair that is commonly cut off by those who justly execrate the absurd Chinese custom of shaving the head.
fools-and-foolishness metals pocket precious uses
RHADOMANCER, n. One who uses a divining-rod in prospecting for precious metals in the pocket of a fool.
change form revolution revolutions-and-revolutionaries
Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
although bone doubt neither nor qualities skin truth wisdom work
REVIEW, v.t.To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it, Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it) At work upon a book, and so read out of it The qualities that you have first read into it.
book books-and-reading concealed divine famous john revealing
REVELATION, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
law natural rock temple
RETALIATION, n. The natural rock upon which is reared the Temple of Law.