Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
commercial engaged pursued pursuit
MERCHANT, n. One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.
blameless characters contrast designed effect formal inquiry necessary order prove purpose record supply
TRIAL, n. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. In order to effect this purpose it is necessary to supply a contrast in the person of one who is called the defendant. . .
divine marked respect treat
Treat things divine with marked respect - don't have anything to do with them
agency bits civilization despite destroying metal obvious suspected
TYPE, n. Pestilent bits of metal suspected of destroying civilization and enlightenment, despite their obvious agency in this incomparable dictionary.
animals civilized family females nature state whose
MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.
believed exponents famous found limiting practical soldiers though
MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. One of the most practical exponents of the Malthusian idea was Herod of Judea, though all the famous soldiers have been of the same way of thinking.
brush fast holding played teeth trying
JEWS-HARP, n. An unmusical instrument, played by holding it fast with the teeth and trying to brush it away with the finger.
among bury imposing indians known man peace savage weapon white
HATCHET, n. A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk.""O bury the hatchet, irascible Red, For peace is a blessing,"" the White Man said. The Savage concurred, and that weapon interred, With imposing rites, in the White Man's head. --John Lukkus
confined jail man taken writ wrong
HABEAS CORPUS. A writ by which a man may be taken out of jail when confined for the wrong crime.
exposed fury shelter ships stores taking
HARBOR, n. A place where ships taking shelter from stores are exposed to the fury of the customs.
known speech
HARANGUE, n. A speech by an opponent, who is known as an harrangue- outang.
arms fall falling hands women
Here's to woman! Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands
act quotes repeating words
The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
future practice selling
The are and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.