Quotes about humor
humor hands political
The important question is, How many hands have I shaked? George W. Bush
humor goal community
It is one of the great goals of my administration to invigorate the spirit of involvement and citizenship. We will encourage faith-based and community programs without changing their mission.
humor government community
We have set out to promote the work of community and faith-based charities. Government cannot be replaced by charities, but it can welcome them as partners instead of resenting them as rivals.
humor decision political
Every nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.
humor thinking political
Do I think faith will be an important part of being a good president? Yes, I do.
humor dangerous-world political
When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there.
humor thinking past
I think we agree, the past is over.
humorous looks want
Look at Gleason in The Honeymooners. He was humorous but the way he lived wasn't really humorous. He was a bus driver. Who wants to be a bus driver? He didn't have any money and he was not famous. But despite that, the show is humorous. George Thorogood
humor tiny revolution
Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution George Orwell
humorous hands two
One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'. George Carlin
humorous men caliber
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
humorous thinking garbage
I hope we're not just human garbage drifting toward a big sewer. But I think so.
humorous climbing sides
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
humorous believe belief
As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
humorous worry hell
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
humorous today way
In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.
humorous ideas rope
I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
humorous company
We're not supposed to mention f***ing in mixed company, but that's exactly where it takes place.
humorous people stuff
Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
humorous giving helping
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
humorous mcdonalds cost
McDonald's breakfast for under a dollar is actually more expensive than that. You have to factor in the cost of bypass surgery.
humorous rivers swim
As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.
humorous florida police
The owner of a Florida massage parlor has been arrested by police. "There weren't any serious violations," said the officers, "she just rubbed us the wrong way."
humorous fast-food cheetahs
To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope.
humorous realizing incidents
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"
humorous wow bows
In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""
humorous school down-and
In high school, when I first heard of entropy, I was attracted to it immediately. They said that in nature all systems are breaking down, and I thought, What a wonderful thing; perhaps I can make some small contribution to this process, myself.
humorous thinking balls
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
humorous apples pears
A pear is a failed apple.
humorous average looks
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
humorous airports care
They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old fashioned, but I insist that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport.
humorous thinking ideas
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
humorous needs lawyer
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?