Famous Quotes & Sayings

Robin Williams

Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?

Tori Spelling

I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level.

Robert Graves

Though philosophers like to define poetry as irrational fancy, for us it is practical, humorous, reasonable way of being ourselves.

Robert Graves

Abstract reason, formerly the servant of practical human reasons, has everywhere become its master, and denies poetry any excuse for existence. Though philosophers like to define poetry as irrational fancy, for us it is practical, humorous, reasonable way of being ourselves. Of never acquiescing in a fraud; of never accepting the secondary-rate in poetry, painting, music, love, friends. Of safeguarding our poetic institutions against the encroachments of mechanized, insensate, inhumane, abstract rationality.

Samuel Johnson

An exotic and irrational entertainment.

Samuel Johnson

Those who attain any excellence, commonly spend life in one pursuit; for excellence is not often gained upon easier terms.

Robertson Davies

The people who fear humor - and they are many - are suspicious of its power to present things in unexpected lights, to question received opinions and to suggest unforeseen possibilities.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

William Howard Taft

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain.

Wayne Dyer

I am realistic – I expect miracles.

William Bernbach

Just because your ad looks good is no insurance that it will get looked at. How many people do you know who are impeccably groomed... but dull?

Wendy Wasserstein

Personally I don't spend much time thinking about being funny. For me it's always been just a way to get by, a way to be likable yet to remain removed. When I speak up, it's not because I have any particular answers; rather, I have a desire to puncture the pretentiousness of those who seem so certain they do.

Wendy Wasserstein

being funny is a way of being liked and a way of dealing with sadness.

Samuel Richardson

Married people should not be quick to hear what is said by either when in ill humor.

Samuel Richardson

From sixteen to twenty, all women, kept in humor by their hopes and by their attractions, appear to be good-natured.

Samuel Foote

So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. What! no soap? So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots.

Samuel Goldwyn

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

Twyla Tharp

Doing is better than not doing, and if you do something badly you'll learn to do it better.

Stephen Colbert

Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.

Thomas B. Macaulay

Nothing is so galling to a people not broken in from birth as a paternal, or, in other words, a meddling government, a government which tells them what to read, and say, and eat, and drink and wear.

Thomas Bailey Aldrich

It was pleasant to me to get a letter from you the other day. Perhaps I should have found it pleasanter if I had been able to decipher it. I don't think that I mastered anything beyond the date (which I knew) and the signature (which I guessed at). There's a singular and a perpetual charm in a letter of yours; it never grows old, it never loses its novelty .... Other letters are read and thrown away and forgotten, but yours are kept forever - unread. One of them will last a reasonable man a lifetime.

Victor Kiam

You can only govern men by serving them. The rule is without exception.

Gordon B. Hinckley

We need to have a little humor in our lives. .If the time ever comes when we can't smile at ourselves, it will be a sad time.

Herbert Beerbohm Tree

Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you.

Herb Caen

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Henry David Thoreau

We admire Chaucer for his sturdy English wit.... But though it is full of good sense and humanity, it is not transcendent poetry.For picturesque description of persons it is, perhaps, without a parallel in English poetry; yet it is essentially humorous, as the loftiest genius never is.

Jeff Gordon

I'm not a robot; I have a personality and I have emotions. I have a humorous side to me and an angry side to me.

Jerry Seinfeld

I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to I could just go, "Excuse me, I'm not here right now, If you just leave a message, I can walk away."

Jerome K. Jerome

The proverbial Englishman, we know from old chronicler Froissart, takes his pleasures sadly, and the Englishwoman goes a step further and takes her pleasures in sadness itself.

Jeffrey Gitomer

Go to humorous events at comedy clubs and watch laughable movies.

Frank Zappa

People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble.

Frank Zappa

Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work.

Jerry Springer

You're a transsexual fighting with a hermaphrodite over a mistress.