Famous Quotes & Sayings

Shel Silverstein

Stand-up comics reflect less of a visual humor and more of a commentary.

Natalie Merchant

I don't think women's prisons are environments for dance routines, and I don't think mass murder is humorous.

Tim Allen

Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, "And let there be aluminum siding." Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.

Thomas Wentworth Higginson

After all, when a thought takes one's breath away, a lesson on grammar seems an impertinence.

Thomas Wentworth Higginson

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.

Steven Wright

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Steven Wright

A metaphor is like a simile.

Steven Wright

I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.

Toby Young

I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them.

Tamora Pierce

Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.

Tabitha Soren

At NBC I wasn't really sure if the grandparents were going to get my sense of humor on a particular topic.

Tab Hunter

Rock Hudson wasn't my type. He's a great guy and had a great sense of humor.

Ron White

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.

Ron Glass

I wanted to do an hour-long show, and I wanted to something that was dramatic and sometimes funny and humorous, as well. I'm just delighted to have this opportunity to be a part of this project.

Ron Howard

Humor is unavoidable. It might not feel funny in the moment, but more often than not there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Rumi

Sell your presence and purchase bewilderment.

Tom Robbins

America is a nation of 270 million people: 100 million of them are gangsters, another 100 million are hustlers, 50 million are complete lunatics, and every single one of us is secretly in show business. Isn't that fabulous?

Tom Robbins

From the air, Vatican City looked like a marble Monopoly set. The Church owned all the property from Broadwalk to Illinois Avenue, has three hotels on every lot, and no matter how often it tossed the dice you just knew it would never land on Go to Jail, it would be forever passing Go and collecting $200.

Tom Robbins

The Japanese have become so smitten with the Western condiment - its texture as silky as a kimono, its tang as understated as the tang of Zen - that today they have a word for mayonnaise junkie: mayora.

Tom Robbins

As expected, you get his machine. Someday, even the "call of nature" will be answered by a machine.

Tom Lehrer

Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.

Tom Lehrer

Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.

Thomas Carlyle

The essence of humor is sensibility; warm, tender fellow-feeling with all forms of existence.

Thomas Carlyle

Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Steve Martin

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

Steve Buscemi

My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like a dig.

Stanislaw Lem

Cancel me not - for what then shall remain? Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes, A root or two, a torus and a node: The inverse of my verse, a null domain.

Stanislaw Lem

Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, Their indices bedecked from one to _ n, Commingled in an endless Markov chain!

Stanislaw Lem

In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Our symptotes no longer out of phase, We shall encounter, counting, face to face.

Stanislaw Lem

I'll grant the random access to my heart, Thoul't tell me all the constants of thy love; And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove And in our bound partition never part.

Sergio Aragones

Eventually I would like to touch all the genres. I would like to do some detective stories, and I want to do a Western. I would want to do humorous Westerns.

Steven Tyler

Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.

Sammy Davis, Jr.

You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear.