Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Darwin

I have tried lately to read Shakespeare, and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me.

Charles Barkley

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five.

Charles Barkley

It's the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife.

Charles Barkley

Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cause you were too close, kissing his!

Charles Barkley

I don't mess with that cat. I'm pretty sure he carries a blade under his jersey.

Charles Barkley

We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic.

Charles Barkley

Christian is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys.

Charles Barkley

Hey Steve, no offense, but if you couldn't shoot, there would be no reason for you to be alive.

Charles Barkley

Say, Cuttino. What are those Godawful clothes you're wearing? Man, this ain't Rhode Island anymore. You're in the NBA. The girls have teeth here.

Charles Barkley

The older I get, the faster I was.

Bobby Darin

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

Blaise Pascal

If you gain, you gain all. If you lose, you lose nothing. Wager then, without hesitation, that He exists.

Billie Holiday

They think they can make fuel from horse manure - now, I don't know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.

Billie Holiday

Mom and Pop were just a couple of kids when they got married. He was eighteen, she was sixteen and I was three.

Billie Joe Armstrong

I just plug in and let go.

Bill Hicks

I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.

Bill Hicks

The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions

Bill Hicks

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?

Bill Hicks

I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul

Bill Hicks

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

Bill Hicks

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

Bill Hicks

Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Bill Hicks

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

Bill Hicks

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.

Bill Hicks

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

Bill Hicks

I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When?

Bill Hicks

Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

Bill Hicks

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well...we looked at the receipts."

Bill Hicks

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

Bill Hicks

Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.

Bill Hicks

When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.

Bill Hicks

I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.

Kevin Chapman

I did a film called 'Black Dynamite' that was very, very funny. That seems to be a film that's kind of a cult classic.