Quotes about funny
funny weed bags
What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant. Dave Chappelle
funny relax comedy
Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!
funny real nice
Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!
funny strong crazy
The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they're crazy." That's bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.
funny people comedy
You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
funny humor rocks
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
funny comedy dave
I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.
funny thinking should-have
I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
funny overwhelmed irresponsible
I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
funny jobs black
Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'
funny thinking animal
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. David Sedaris
funny loss privacy
They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of fame is the loss of privacy.
funny dark people
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
funny-love hurt real
Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings
funny humor statistics
over 85% of all statistics are made up on the spot. David Mitchell
funny wish asbestos
I really wish they hadn't made the set out of asbestos.
funny skills want
If I want to act relaxed, it's going to take all my cunning, skill and concentration.
funny cat personality
I recently bought a cat, but took it back a day later because our personalities clashed.
funny writing alternatives
There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally. David Cross
funny humor thinking
I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
funny humor people
Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat.
funny humor plums
If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
funny humor cutting
Then I will tape the sets and even though I`m not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together.
funny kids humor
So all my friends have kids now... which I think is rude.
funny humor armageddon
We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
funny children humor
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know...
funny humor ideas
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
funny humor together
'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
funny humor arrogant
James Lipton: The most pompous arrogant failure in history.
funny humor gay
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
funny hurt humor
I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.
funny giving-up reading
What President of the Airline is doing is, he's urging everyone to give up their frequent flyer miles for sick kids... But as I was reading this, there were two empty seats next to me. Why can't sick kids sit there? If they're so concerned with sick kids, shouldn't they have like a pen of sick kids next to the gate?
funny war party
I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are...