Quotes about funny
funny hilarious women
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. Will Rogers
funny humor two
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
funny-relationship divorce way
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
funny sarcastic hurt
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
funny thinking aggravation
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
funny laughter food
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
funny way lawyer
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
funny humor government
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
funny california oklahoma
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
funny life inspiration
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
funny letting-go humorous
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
funny sarcastic horse
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
funny change humor
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
funny witty humorous
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
funny hilarious sarcastic
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
funny money two
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
funny witty humorous
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
funny leadership drinking
Always drink upstream from the herd.
funny-happy-birthday waiting-in-line getting-older
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
funny smile money
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
funny hilarious parenting
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
funny life wisdom
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
funny party political-will
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
funny sarcastic witty
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
funny sarcastic money
A fool and his money are soon elected.
funny movie witty
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
funny country sarcasm
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
funny hilarious fools-day
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
funny hilarious humorous
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
funny
Hurry up and learn patience.
funny music guitar
I never practice my guitar. From time to time I just open the case & throw in a piece of raw meat. Wes Montgomery
funny marriage cigarette-smoke
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. Rudyard Kipling
funny marriage taken
I've taken my fun where I've found it, An' now I must pay for my fun, For the more you 'ave known o' the others The less will you settle to one.