Quotes about funny
funny brother humor
George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud! George Lopez
funny humor laughing-so-hard
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!
funny revenge humor
Two wrongs do not make a right; but three rights make a left.
funny comedy
We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.
funny humor boys
We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!
funny-valentines-day love-you wife
The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.'
funny humor thinking
I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.
funny humor bags
One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.
funny humor bullets
Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.
funny humor long
As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house.
funny nice comedy
Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.
funny reality white
I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.
funny mom humor
Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!
funny humor white
It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.
funny mom humor
At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom.
funny humor house
I can never do nothing in this house!
funny humor names
You know how Mexican restaurants always have "border" in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people: Kunta's Kitchen or Shackles. They don't do it to white people. You don't see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel... oh, nevermind.
funny mom humor
When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'
funny sarcastic coffins
Folks always look good in their coffins. Elvis Presley
funny time thinking
Every time I think that I'm getting old, and gradually going to the grave, something else happens.
funny business humor
I have no use for bodyguards, but I have very specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.
funny-things monsters treats
Funny thing about the monster. The worse he treats you, the more you love him. Ellen Hopkins
funny-love sanity
My life acccomplishments? Sanity, and you Elizabeth Gilbert
funny softball hawaii
We have North Shore, Hawaii and Lost all there, so they have softball tournaments between the casts. It's hilarious. Josh Holloway
funny stars rocks
There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva. Josh Groban
funny interesting insane
We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, 'I will do unspeakable things.' I thought that was very interesting - and mildly terrifying! Josh Hutcherson
funny husband persons
I am happy to know that my husband regards me as a woman and a person. Katherine Dunham
funny dog people
If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people. Karel Capek
funny humorous gun
There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes. Katharine Whitehorn
funny men getting-high
Man who stands on toilet, gets high on pot! Katharine Hepburn
funny cute movie
The average Hollywood film star's ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend.
funny dog couple
She lies about her age and weight and is slightly older than Rocket. But they've been a couple for eight years, longer than most in Hollywood. Kate Jackson
funny hilarious strong-women
Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men. Joseph Conrad