Quotes about funny
funny humor looks
That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood. Jim Norton
funny humor rifles
I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.
funny baby humor
I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.
funny sex humor
You have the sex appeal of Norman Fell.
funny humor periods
No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined.
funny humor interesting
That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?
funny hate humor
I don't have kids. That's why I leave it in the dumper or in the mouth, because I hate kids.
funny humor college
What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!
funny silly humor
Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.
funny humor tragedy
There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.
funny grateful humor
You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.
funny humor aids
I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.
funny humor hug
I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire.
funny running humor
I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn't hit her.
funny humor clothes
Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
funny humor cracks
I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open
funny hate humor
For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
funny humor problem
I don't pull out because... it's not my problem.
funny humor picnics
I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic.
funny new-year hate
God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.
funny humor rubber
I don't wear rubbers cause you can't catch it twice.
funny humor pussy
They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.
funny humor wish
I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.
funny horse names
What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
funny running children
And while all of your friends are grieving at your wake, I hope the sprinkler system turns on and sprays them with AIDS, hepatitis C and liquified genital warts. And while they're all running out and crying, I hope one of them slips and accidentally molests a child.
funny stupid made
Most of the gaffes I've made have not been funny - they've been stupid. Jim Lehrer
funny motivational positive-thinking
You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. Jim Rohn
funny humor bus
This is L.A. You wanna learn Spanish? Take the bus. George Lopez
funny humor gum
Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.
funny humor sunday
Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.
funny humor presidential
Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!
funny war humor
From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!
funny humor waffles
if you make waffles, throw out the first one.