Quotes about funny
funny morning night
Resolve was never stronger than in the morning, after the night, when it was never weaker Mike Leigh
funny humor criticism
Their is no defense against criticism except obscurity. Joseph Addison
funny football tree
Playing against a defensive opponent is just as bad as making love to a tree. Jorge Valdano
funny inspiration being-in-love
I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. Jonathan Swift
funny life time
No man was ever so completely skilled in the conduct of life, as not to receive new information from age and experience.
funny life money
There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.
funny education truth
When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.
funny clever humor
The clever men of Oxford, know all that there is to be knowed but they none of them know one half as much as intelligent Mr. Toad. Kenneth Grahame
funny sarcastic book
If a man writes a book, let him set down only what he knows. I have guesses enough of my own. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
funny sarcastic teaching
We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.
funny humorous math
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
funny-inspirational inspirational-life integrity
To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.
funny inspiring song
The song tells me what to play. Joe Walsh
funny boxing might
Yeah, I'm scared. I'm scared I might kill Schmeling. Joe Louis
funny thinking laughing
I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release. Joaquin Phoenix
funny trying relief
The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing. Jo Brand
funny thinking female
Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
funny risen
He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. George Eliot
funny witty humorous
Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. James Thurber
funny hilarious witty
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
funny witty numbers
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
funny witty men
Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
funny inspiring trying
Learn from the masters, learn from your contemporaries. Always try to update yourself. James Stewart
funny towels blind
Can I come in? No! I'm in a towel! I'm blind! James Patterson
funny sleep years
America has become so tense and nervous it has been years since I have seen anyone sleep in church - and that is a sad situation. Norman Vincent Peale
funny home humor
I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves. Ellen DeGeneres
funny humor toothpaste
Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate offers!
funny humor anxiety
All the commercials on TV today are for antidepressants, for Prozac or Paxil. And they get you right away. "Are you sad? Do you get stressed, do you have anxiety?" "Yes, I have all those things! I'm alive!"
funny humor shampoo
That woman in the shampoo commercial - she's happy. She's... she's too happy.
funny humor whistling
When there's time for whistling, there's a lot of time on a show.
funny humor light
I'm a - I'm a, um, a godmother which is just, that's fun to be a godmother, she is so precious, she's the light of my life, she's two... or five or something, and she's, uh... I don't know, I've never seen her - the pictures are precious, she just seems so, y'know... She lives clear across town, I don't have that kind of time, but, um... Well, I send money and stuff, it's not like I don't have a connection.
funny humor giving
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
funny humor eye
The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.