Famous Quotes & Sayings

You know you're getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you see okay?

Lynda Barry

You'll never call him Fifi again.

Lyndon B. Johnson

Heck by the time a man scratches his behind, clears his throat, and tells me how smart he is, we've already wasted fifteen minutes.

Lyndon B. Johnson

Did you ever think that making a speech on economy is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.

Ludwig Borne

History teaches us virtue, but nature never ceases to teachh us vice.

Louis C. K.

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Louis C. K.

I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.

Louis Armstrong

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard a horse sing a song.

Louis D. Brandeis

I abhor averages. I like the individual case. A man may have six meals one day and none the next, making an average of three meals per day, but that is not a good way to live.

Loretta Lynn

I didn't know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child.

Lord Byron

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

Lord Byron

All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.

Lord Byron

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

M. C. Escher

I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check. We adore chaos because we love to produce order. I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough.

Lord Chesterfield

I sometimes give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.

Lord Chesterfield

In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge.

Lord Chesterfield

Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting.

Lord Chesterfield

Sexual intercourse is a grossly overrated pastime; the position is undignified, the pleasure momentary and the consequences damnable.

Malcolm de Chazal

A women knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.

Malcolm Forbes

The key to success is not through achievement, but through enthusiasm.

Malcolm Forbes

The dumbest people I know are those who know it all.

Malcolm Gladwell

Without the New York Times, there is no blog community. They'd have nothing to blog about.

Malcolm Bradbury

I like the English. They have the most rigid code if immorality in the world.

Magic Johnson

On his telepathic understanding with James Worthy- It's almost like we have ESPN.

Magic Johnson

On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball.

Magic Johnson

I only know how to play two ways: reckless and abandon.

Maimonides

Astrology is not an art, it is a disease.

Mahatma Gandhi

What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.

Gene Wilder

The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last.

Gail Collins

Unfortunately, he was about as deep as a melted ice cube.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.