Famous Quotes & Sayings

Matt Groening

Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories.

Matt Groening

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson

Matt Groening

It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons, we've explored some of the secondary characters' personal lives a bit more.

Matt Groening

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Mary Wortley Montagu

As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling.

Mark Hamill

I can't tell you how much we laughed on the set to have Alec Guinness in a scene with a big, furry dog that's flying a space ship.

Marion Nestle

The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby.

Paul Rudd

I was at a dinner party with a group of people, and we were talking about fake names. You know, how its difficult to come up with a really great fake name. Its a very specific type of gift. You don't want to go too far into the silly, and you don't want to go too far into the banal. I always thought one of the funniest names ever was Gern Blanston, which came from a Steve Martin routine on one of his early records.

Paul Harvey

If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?

Paul Harvey

If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' what is the opposite of 'progress'?

Paul Goodman

Few great men would have got past personnel.

Patty Murray

This is a long-delayed, hard-won, and badly needed victory for millions of women.

Paul Auster

In my life, I've lived in very different kinds of places - very tiny rooms when I was young. And you do learn to cope with it. The funny thing is, as you begin to inhabit larger places, it's very interesting how quickly you adapt to your space. What seems enormous at first becomes natural after a few weeks.

Julia Roberts

It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.

Julia Roberts

Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down; I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that's when things start feeling fake and boring.

Lita Ford

I like to travel. I love touring, I love playing.

Nell Freudenberger

Research for fiction is a funny thing: you go looking for one piece of information, and find something altogether different.

Nellie Bly

On the wagon sped, and I, as well as my comrades, gave a despairing farewell glance at freedom as we came in sight of the long stone buildings.

Neil Young

Being sued by your own record company, that's even better than receiving a Grammy

Rachel McAdams

I'm very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in 'Morning Glory' with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone.

Rachel Maddow

Internet's been down most of the day [at work]. Doing research by just asking everyone what we remember to be true. What could possibly go wrong?

Newt Gingrich

A mere forty years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about.

Nick Cannon

I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the world, she just cracks me up all the time.

Nick Cannon

Imagine if you've got the diva of all divas. If we've got to be somewhere at five or six o'clock, I tell her its time to go at noon so she gets those five hours to do what she needs to do. But were both kids at heart. She is the funniest person ever and she has a great sense of humor. We connect at a spiritual level.

Mike Myers

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Joey Adams

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

Joey Adams

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Joey Adams

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Joey Lauren Adams

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Joey Lauren Adams

A genius is one who can do anything except make a living.

Joe Theismann

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

Joe Namath

Till I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'