Quotes about funny
funny-life important life-is
The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life. Frank Zappa
funny sarcastic sarcasm
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
funny music humor
Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion. Fred Rogers
funny confused animal
Ecology is often confused with environmentalism, while in fact, environmentalism often leaves out the fact that people, too, can be a legitimate part of an ecosystem. Frank Herbert
funny-love giving joy
You know it's love when you want to give joy and damn the consequences.
funny stupid patriotic
It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another. George H. W. Bush
funny jobs dumb
I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job.
funny mother food
I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
funny-inspirational children humility
When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it's amazing what you can learn. Especially if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be children. Greg Mortenson
funny-friend heaven hell
It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell. George Herbert
funny humorous ideas
The Opera is obviously the first draft of a fine spectacle; it suggests the idea of one. Jean de la Bruyere
funny money men
Nothing more clearly shows how little God esteems his gift to men of wealth, money, position and other worldly goods, than the way he distributes these, and the sort of men who are most amply provided with them.
funny humor computer
The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence. Jean Baudrillard
funny sarcastic children
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
funny-things
I never say a funny thing intentionally. Jayne Meadows
funny witty father
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings Jay London
funny witty dog
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes
funny witty morning
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights
funny dog men
According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog. Jay Leno
funny-inspirational eating supermodel
You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one.
funny california white
Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder.
funny soccer team
Congratulations to Mexico. They upset Brazil to win a gold medal in men's soccer. And after the Olympics ended, the Mexican soccer team, of course, returned home to their houses here in Los Angeles.
funny teenager team
Wasn't it thrilling when the U.S. Women's team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher score than Chinese kids? That never happens.
funny thinking next
The Supreme Court has ruled that anybody can be strip-searched for any kind of arrest. That's something to think about the next time you bring 12 items into a 10-item-or-less lane.
funny mean thinking
It's fun when you're driving, and people wave at you, and you wave back. I think you either like people or you don't. I mean, I don't want to put on sunglasses. That's why I'm in show business.
funny stupid light
I saw something stupid in the paper today. A new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people who don't like loud noises. Instead, it slowly hits you with light and gets brighter and brighter until you wake up. I already have one of those.. it's called a window.
funny running school
Usain Bolt won the gold for the men's 100- and 200-meter dashes for the second Olympics in a row. You know, he has been running since he was in elementary school - kind of like Mitt Romney.
funny humor offering
AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote."
funny flames games
The first Olympic Games were held in 776 BC. Do you know who lit the flame? Betty White.
funny team night
Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform.
funny queens london-olympics
The Queen of England jumped out of a helicopter and parachuted into the stadium. What was even more amazing was when Prince Charles flew in using his ears as a hang glider.
funny fighting london-olympics
In the spirit of the Olympic Games, they traditionally ask that all fighting and warfare around the world stop. So, there's hope for a ceasefire within the Jackson family.
funny london-olympics chinese
Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the uniforms, and it's an embarrassment and a disgrace. Not as embarrassing as congress constantly borrowing money from the Chinese, but still embarrassing.