Famous Quotes & Sayings

Todd Barry

There are commercials that are funny, but you might forget the product. A standard commercial might hammer that point home better.

Rachel Dratch

When I was little, we used to have Atari.

Debra Wilson

What's so interesting is that the Aborigine language is all handed down from generation to generation - it's not a written language.

Ring Lardner

I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.

Ring Lardner

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.

Ring Lardner

No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done with out it.

Ring Lardner

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.

Ring Lardner

The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes something he didn't think he could do.

Ring Lardner

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.

Samantha Bee

There are some people who believe that these are not real stories with real people, but they actually are.

Samantha Bee

I learn something in the interviews from time to time.

Samantha Bee

A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada.

Robert Klein

Regis and I were inducted into the original Bronx Walk of Fame.

Robert Klein

So it took me five years because in the interim I have been doing a lot of personal appearances and movies and some television series that went into the plumbing and I stopped writing for a while.

Lea DeLaria

I can't discriminate? Oh, that's ripe, coming from a straight white man. What's the matter, baby doesn't feel like he belongs? Well why don't you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world!

James Thurber

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy, and dead.

James Thurber

Love is the strange bewilderment that overtakes one person on account of another person.

George Burns

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

Keenen Ivory Wayans

I throw it all in there, Kung Fu, blaxploitation, horror.

Emo Philips

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

Andy Richter

Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there.

Chevy Chase

Most people just want you to acknowledge that they did recognize you. Those who want an autograph or a photo is a different matter altogether.

Chevy Chase

There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.

Ben Stiller

When you come out with a film, hopefully it gets presented to the public in the right way so people aren't getting something they don't expect.

George Burns

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Amy Poehler

Sometimes in my class I have people come in and do monologues inspired by people they know and I always find that to be useful to do specifics about somebody and then you're actually doing a character and not doing some random old lady or something.

Debra Wilson

We always performed for our church, but we also just performed whenever the family got together.

Debra Wilson

I was a shy little girl, nothing like what I am now.

Debra Wilson

I have to approach my life in this way so I can do what I need to do, and do it very well.

Debra Wilson

People who don't use the tools given to them only injure themselves.

Dennis Ross

We can't have a failure in Iraq, but we also can't be there for the next 10 years because if we are, it's going to become, I think, a failure in and of itself.