W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
food drinking night
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
drinking water fishes
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
drinking moving nerves
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
funny health two
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
truth wine men
You can't cheat an honest man.
drinking exercise hours
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
drinking house alcohol
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
drinking juice pineapples
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
drinking water lost
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
drinking boys two
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
pockets abstinence abstaining
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
kids mets
I never met a kid I liked.
comedy prosperity behinds
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
philadelphia fog lasts
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.