W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
eight body lawyer
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
believe biblical whales
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
believe church might
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
names four letters
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
brother world giants
The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
horse food meat
I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
heart today negotiation
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
drinking cost-of-living alcohol
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
play people broadway
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
scotch-whisky nerves bartending
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
vat whiskey comedy
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
trust cutting cards
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
humorous names use
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
memories humorous names
I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face.