Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny dog moving
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
dog my-dog walks
I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.
dog people ledges
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
dog new-york florida
I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."
dog pet gone
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
dog fun insane
I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
funny dog silly
I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!
dog cat eye
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
dog paranoid not-sure
I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
audience came clicked johnny since tonight watching
I've wanted to do it since I was 14 years old, from watching 'The Tonight Show,' watching Johnny (Carson) and the other comedians. Something clicked in me that I wanted to be one of those guys, someone who came out and made the audience laugh.
statue
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
spot
I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
american-comedian
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
american-comedian
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.