Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
doe news junkie
I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
book college men
I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that.
love-is
I love being onstage.
beautiful reading night
Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it’s an athletic endeavor. You have to be able to just hit the backhand. You can’t think about all the pieces of it. You can’t think about your swing. You just have to do it. Reading someone else’s deconstruction of what I do, all it does is put me in my head. On nights when the show goes particularly well, I am not aware of its fluidity. A lot of nights I’m just worried that I’m not going to be as good as the script in front of me.
hot hard my-truth
I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
sorry mean mirrors
Love means never having to say you're sorry. That's why I never apologize to my mirror.
names pet goldfish
And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name; I'm not changing it.
bears would-be gummies
It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
cost-of-living cost affordable
The cost of living keeps going up, although death is surprisingly affordable.
children mind television
It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
funny winning london-olympics
Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.
funny london-olympics ass
Well China, you got us. Phelps was doping - and he still beat you. He smoked the sticky-icky, and then he smoked your ass!
religion bills bill-o-reilly
Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
real world today
Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.