Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
math add silver
Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.
people want corporations
If poor people want food stamps, they should become massive corporations.
mistake mean religion
I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
race skins cleansing
While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.
funny night people
Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it "The No Fact Zone." Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term.
surrender claims jokes
We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.
moving animal air
It's clear that when we're this outnumbered by the creatures, we have to take a page from the British Empire and rule the lesser species through intimidation. That's why the single most important thing you can do as a human is to dominate an animal. Need more proof?Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground. I'd say that about covers it.
dog apples pie
I'm more American than apple pie. I'm like apple pie, with a hot dog in it
eggs breaking-eggs
You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
views shells want
I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.
inspirational laughter swelling
Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
years scotch hey
Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?
block confirmation habit
John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
country book heart
I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart...