Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
couple divorce asking
Divorce is marital welfare.It’s just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn’t do enough research before they got married.
mother children kids
A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
men say-anything bed
New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
artist america way
In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
atheist america hair
Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
eye wind blind
Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
stupid self waiting
If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
character two use
I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.
greatest-fear what-if aging
A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
example classic love-making
I love making observations. That one is a classic example.
kids knows
...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
children dont-trust folks
Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
mean thinking waiting
Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!
opposites way action
The worst thing about affirmative action is that it encourages reverse discrimination, so-called because it goes in the opposite way of how we naturally discriminate.