Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
incentives corporations facts
If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
vintage dying
Nothing is more vintage than dying of Rubella.
use squat bigs
If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.
thinking people might
Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
expectations trying junkie
I'm a junkie for exhaustion, and I'm a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them.
reality bias knows
As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
names dry want
I'm not going to name any names, but let's just say, I want to do jokes on Donald Trump so badly, and I have no venue. So right now, I'm just dry Trumping.
gay accepting made
If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
monkeys next theory
Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all okay.
pride mayonnaise hard
It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
heart doctors facts
There is no food closer to my heart than cheese. In fact, according to my doctor, it has nearly filled my aorta.
apology tsa atlanta
I did learn something interesting [while at the Atlanta airport]. You have to be a member of the TSA in order to legally perform a cavity search. My apologies to the staff of Cinnabon, but you guys should really keep that extra frosting where the customers can find it.
book looks look-up
You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.
writing fearless fiction
You should spend more time with your families; write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.