Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
summer ideas sequels
Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
microsoft-word names threat
Any religion whose messiah’s name isn’t recognized by Microsoft Word can’t be that much of a threat.
sorry gay heaven
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
butterfly discovery opposites
Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies
retirement hurt sorry
Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
couple divorce asking
Divorce is marital welfare.It’s just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn’t do enough research before they got married.
mother children kids
A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
men say-anything bed
New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
artist america way
In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
atheist america hair
Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
eye wind blind
Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
stupid self waiting
If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
character two use
I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.
greatest-fear what-if aging
A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?