Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
dog truth sorry
All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.
food animal two
So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
jesus pain names
Researchers from Britain's Keele University have found that swearing after an injury may help alleviate pain. Evidently, the pain that you feel is inversely proportional to the number of middle names you give Jesus.
believe love-is wonder
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.
gun glaciers wave
What's the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns?
teacher children father
A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
sunset spoons want
Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
jokes
Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.
character self giving
My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot, ... So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.
opportunity america poor
Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
answers way wonder
Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.
school sunday teach
I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
book reading printed-word
I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
order needs dollars
In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.