Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
monday believe home
Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will.
rocks salinger
(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock
dog president hot
President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
mean glasses white
Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. (Said to President Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner)
dimes broke ifs
If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
jesus victory plus
I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
foxes news fox-news
(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
dog truth sorry
All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.
food animal two
So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
jesus pain names
Researchers from Britain's Keele University have found that swearing after an injury may help alleviate pain. Evidently, the pain that you feel is inversely proportional to the number of middle names you give Jesus.
believe love-is wonder
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.
gun glaciers wave
What's the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns?
teacher children father
A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
sunset spoons want
Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.