Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudneris an American comedian, writer and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned her stage presence to stand-up comedy where she’s flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premiere female comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 September 1953
CityMiami, FL
CountryUnited States of America
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Natural childbirth scares me. I think before you have natural childbirth you should find out how big the baby is. Three pounds -- natural childbirth. Anything over three pounds -- heroin.
Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.
I was going with someone for a few years, but we broke up. It was one of those things. He wanted to get married, and I didn't want him to.
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.
Cats are a waste of fur.
I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."