Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
inspirational couple husband
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
husband house cures
I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.
mother husband law
My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
husband wife remodeling
Some wives have model husbands, I got one that needed remodeling.
husband goldfish too-much
Your husband drinks too much if he says he never drinks alone, but considers the goldfish somebody.
husband wind house
Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
husband medicine sloth
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.
husband coffee sloth
Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.
husband
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
husband gun clerks
This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to buy a gun for my husband.' The clerk says, 'Did he tell you what kind of gun?' 'No,' she replied. 'He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him.
husband coffee giving
Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
mother husband son
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."
husband eye useless
My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
husband giving want
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.