Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
hecklers timing precise
My timing is so precise a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.
baby grandmother grandparent
On the way to the delivery room, I almost changed my mind about having a baby. I wouldn't have found it so hard to go ahead with it if I had realized that having a baby was the only way I could ever become a grandmother.
humor adjusting way
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
husband wind house
Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
husband medicine sloth
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.
grandchildren birth-control want
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
growing-up mark wells
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
men dating sick
I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
husband coffee sloth
Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.
sloth pills laziness
Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.
husband
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
humor wrinkles enough
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
inspirational morning kissing
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.
inspirational lying house
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.