Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
cooking may taste
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
sex comedy timing
Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
mother knees
All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.
mother dream law
Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most wonderful dream -- I dreamed that mothers-in-law cost money and I couldn't afford one.
people modern-life fruitcake
Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.
baby men ideas
There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.
night house wigs
My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
school kids home
When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
birthday age funny-birthday
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
inspirational baby kids
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
men air car
Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
mother law watches
I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death.
inspirational couple husband
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
husband house cures
I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.