Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
funny hilarious mom
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
husband divorced appendix
Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
made
I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'
mothers-day mom fathers-day
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
baby doctors world
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
marriage husband common
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
inspirational blood type
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
christmas jobs xmas
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
airbags walkers knows
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
inspirational life birthday
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
beautiful steps comedy
You've got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It's when somebody steps on the bride's train, or belches during the ceremony that you've got comedy!
people blouses
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
blow apples use
To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won't have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.
thanksgiving fun kids
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.