Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
retirement real golf
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
mean tennis love-means
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
giving-up years i-will-never-give-up
I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
funny dog stoves
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
food three milk
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
inspirational birthday anniversary
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
inspirational cupcakes rooms
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
gold important next
Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.
seven hours beauty-shop
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
inspirational anniversary mistake
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
funny beach humor
When I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I still take the pill; I don't want any more grandchildren.
children advice bottles
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
children father divorce
Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.
dating easy
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.