Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
baby children kids
The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when you're away from them, who needs it?.
baby children experts
One [expert] said, 'Always have a baby sitter who is acquainted with your children.' If they were acquainted with my children, they wouldn't sit!
children want looks
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
baby children kids
We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
running children women
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
children writing dust
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
children growing-up silly
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
children humorous kids
We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
children advice bottles
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
children father divorce
Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.
advice follow work
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.
drops food ties
Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator
american-comedian head pro reason tells
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
american-comedian walker
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.