Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
mother law wrinkles
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
mother law centre
The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.
mother hands law
My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.
funny mother humorous
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
mother law funeral
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.
mother law oil
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.
mother moving law
I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'
mother rain home
The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'
mother exercise law
My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.
mother sea wife
The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.
mother birth certificates
I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
mother law sex-maniac
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
christmas mother running
My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.
mother law breathing
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.