Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
mother exercise law
My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.
mother sea wife
The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.
sleep doctors wife
I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.
mother birth certificates
I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
mother law sex-maniac
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
christmas mother running
My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.
mother law breathing
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.
latin ideas tunes
I toyed with the idea of playing Ravel's 'Pavane pour une infante defunte' but I couldn't remember if it's a tune or Latin prescription for piles.
moon space heaven
In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.
mother law wish
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.
doors years wife
Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.
clever men thinking
With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever.
blood wife giving
I took the wife's family out for tea biscuits. They weren't too happy about having to give blood though.
long mind self-improvement
I don't mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored.