Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
mother law wrinkles
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
mother law centre
The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.
mother hands law
My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.
mother law funeral
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.
mother law oil
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.
mother moving law
I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'
mother exercise law
My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.
mother law sex-maniac
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
mother law breathing
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.
mother law wish
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.
couple finish marriage
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.
slumps bother
Slumps don't bother me.
funny-things tunnels wife
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
personal-things
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.