Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
love-is giving needs
I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.
mother law funeral
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.
marriage couple sex-maniac
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.
wife ugly horror
Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
rising way lasts
The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.
witty doctors wind
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.
teacher school nerves
I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.
mother law oil
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.
mother moving law
I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'
mother rain home
The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'
funny life hilarious
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
family tree weeping-willows
Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.
funny travel prayer
I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.
kids wife allowing
I'd like to thank the BBC for allowing me to work here. And I'd like to thank the wife and kids for making it necessary.