Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
rising way lasts
The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.
couple finish marriage
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.
slumps bother
Slumps don't bother me.
mother law wrinkles
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
funny-things tunnels wife
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
personal-things
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.
wife thank-god hissing
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
powerful feminist facts
Despite the fact that feminists say they're not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful.
zero numbers tribes
There is a remote tribe that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?
growing-up wind eggs
A square egg in a dish of lentils won't make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid's leg.
mother law centre
The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.
shields red faces
I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.
mother hands law
My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.
funny mother humorous
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'