Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
real writing car
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
nice office house
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
awards matter host
I do not know why anyone would host an awards show. No matter how unbelievably well you do at it, the only thing that can happen is you get asked again to host an awards show.
hate people ugh
Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.
funny music humorous
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
funny war army
The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.
years impression bother
Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
country world kind
We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.
funny humor men
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'
crazy-ideas proven can-do
Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
movie years two
If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
theater audience trapped
I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.
fun knowing comedian
The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
funny-friend want
Why would anybody want a friend?