Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
tired im-tired rich
I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.
father years style
You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.
baby men drink-milk
Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."
blue white clothes
Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
morning sleep kids
Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them at the foot of their beds for them to discover in the morning. Nothing wrong with sending your kids a little Sicilian message.
be-kind ifs vague
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
laughing ends
The biggest laugh has to come at the end.
sex lying people
Everybody lies about sex. People lie during sex. If it weren't for lies, there'd be no sex.
body maintenance enjoy
The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
drug mouths encounters
No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
book people internet
I've compiled a book from the Internet. It's a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people.
health want amusing
Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
tv-shows phones radio
Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?
beach airline devices
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?