Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
sex wells ifs
Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
breakup two three
That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
speech speechless
I am speechless: I have no speech
freaking-out
I am freaking out! I am freaking out
air bridges car
I'd like to do one of those jumps they do in the movies; in a car, over a bridge, in the air with a huge explosion. It would be a final moment of entertainment.
space parks bathroom
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
couple moving coffee
Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
looks chickens i-can
I can't eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time.
tired im-tired rich
I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.
father years style
You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.
baby men drink-milk
Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."
blue white clothes
Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
morning sleep kids
Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them at the foot of their beds for them to discover in the morning. Nothing wrong with sending your kids a little Sicilian message.
be-kind ifs vague
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.