Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
nominations golden oscars
Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
clever reading thinking
I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance was spelled in reverse print on the hood of the ambulance. And I thought, Well, isn't that clever. I look in the rear-view mirror; I can read the word ambulance behind me. Of course while you're reading, you don't see where you're going, you crash. You need an ambulance. I think they're trying to drum up some business on the way back from lunch.
love-is space magazines
Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on 'How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?
kids feet people
You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each.
mean caring giving
I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.
important reservations knows
See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
sex wells ifs
Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
breakup two three
That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
speech speechless
I am speechless: I have no speech
freaking-out
I am freaking out! I am freaking out
air bridges car
I'd like to do one of those jumps they do in the movies; in a car, over a bridge, in the air with a huge explosion. It would be a final moment of entertainment.
space parks bathroom
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
couple moving coffee
Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
looks chickens i-can
I can't eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time.