Henry Beard
Henry Beard
Henry Nichols Beardis an American humorist, one of the founders of the magazine National Lampoon and the author of several best-selling books...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
CountryUnited States of America
british courses dozen far favorite flow great holes naturally particular perfect picture playing rarely round sight sound west whenever whose
Whenever I dream of playing a perfect round of golf, which I rarely do more than a dozen times a day, I picture myself on one of my favorite British Open-style links, and in particular the great courses of the west of Ireland, whose holes flow through naturally bunkered dunesland never far from the sight or sound of surf.
funny flower autumn
Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again.
weed flower vegetables
Hoeing: A manual method of severing roots from stems of newly planted flowers and vegetables.
height particular weight
There is no such thing as a 'correct' weight for any particular height - they are only averages.
throw troubles wash
You can often wash your troubles away with the right kind of bath. Throw everything you have into the tub: bubble gels, bubble oils, bubble powders, bubble gum.
golf two water
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
knitting-needles reason-why culinary
You do not sew with a fork and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.
golf clash ifs
Wear it if it clashes.
garden animal numbers
Garden: One of a vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals.
golf driving shots
A driving range is the place where golfers go to get all the good shots out of their system.
blessed golf player
Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.
chef culinary cooks
Chef: Any cook who swears in French.
golf balls tees
Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone.
fishing people missing
Advice to anglers: don't take advice from people with missing fingers.