Emo Philips
Emo Philips
Emo Philipsis an American entertainer and comedian born in the Chicago suburb of Downers Grove. Much of his standup comedy stems from the use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice and a confused, childlike delivery of his material to produce the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the 'wisdom of children' or the idiot savant...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1956
CityChicago, IL
CountryUnited States of America
I thought I was raptured up into the air today; turns out, it was just my gas oven exploding.
I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.
If you can make just one person laugh, then you are already doing better than Tony Danza.
It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.
My grandmother's brain was dead, but her heart was still beating. It was the first time we ever had a democrat in the family.
I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
My sister just had a baby. We can have company over. She'll be in front of everyone with her um... breast... out feeding it. You know... cereal or whatever.
Cell phones are like a dog's nipples... you don't have to shout into them!
Sometimes my mother goes through my socks and underwear. I wouldn't mind, but it tickles so much!
Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.
I don't know if I have sexual magnetism or animal magnetism, though sometimes I'll find a squirrel stuck to my forehead.
Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo.
I ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady...take your purse.'
Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.