Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller
Dennis Milleris an American stand-up comedian, talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, television personality, and radio personality...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 November 1953
CityPittsburgh, PA
CountryUnited States of America
addiction sober century
In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted.
thinking guy trying
Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
god stupidity four
When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
mean men airports
[T]he man who accused Richard Simmons of slapping him in an airport has dropped the assault charge. Dropped it! Upon hearing the news, Simmons sadly responded, "You mean I'm not going to prison?
powerful years guy
Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw this guy. ... [He's a] bad guy.
god two stupidity
How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
god stupidity energy
I am proof that Einstein's "e equals m c squared" is wrong. My mass has increased, but my energy has dropped.
clothes creating hey
South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their clothes with? Apar-Tide!
laughing people doubt
There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.
iraq bags scum
I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
two may thousand
Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
hands racing politics
A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.
thinking half comedy
Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.
country way becoming
The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.