Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller
Dennis Milleris an American stand-up comedian, talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, television personality, and radio personality...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 November 1953
CityPittsburgh, PA
CountryUnited States of America
mother baby thinking
And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking...yeah, that's coming down.
giving energy immune-system
The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.
laying-down bones punk
We are simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired nation on this planet. In short, we are Frank Sinatra. And the Chairman didn't make his bones laying down for punks...
sun hot global-warming
Is global warming new? I don't know. When I was young I remember the sun being hot.
gay blow nuts
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from overseas wants to blow up their wedding, that's when I'm right.
husband thinking virginia
Teresa Lewis, the only woman on death row in Virginia, says she doesn't deserve the death penalty because she only hired the killers of her husband and stepson, she didn't actually pull the trigger herself. You know, she has a point. I think we should let her be able to hire the person who executes her, and not do yourself in! How's that, doll? Yeah! Get it over with quick, maybe Charlize Theron will sign up to play you.
jobs moving talking
The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a bad guy... When I'm in Los Angeles having these incredibly surreal moments where nobody's saying anything and everybody's talking incessantly, I always have that Pittsburgh voice in my head - shut up, smile, get the job, move on.
suicide thinking things-in-life
The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get there first... you are halling ass my friends.
growing-up secret groups
Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets...
children men t-shirt
If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
jobs screw-ups screws
Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.
unbalanced gary tubes
To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
vegas people teeth
Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.
hate color skins
Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?